End of Summer.

It's abnormally quiet outside, on the streets of my neighborhood, at this time of day. The weather is at its finest and I'm sitting with my chin resting on the back of the couch, staring out of the window smudged with grime. My eyes are locked on a rose bush across the street in an estranged neighbor's yard. It towers high above the nearby shrubs, screaming with its' ragged appearance, the need for a trim, or for any sort of attention whatsoever. A fly slowly makes its way across the dirty glass just inches away from my eyes. The fly's movements resemble a mechanic of some sorts, like the inner workings of a clock; little spasms or twitches of movement that slowly but surely bring it across my plain of view. Yet, the fly is not the focus. My eyes are still trained on the rose bush. A black dot only slinks across and disappears.

What am I looking at?

Nothing.

A rose bush.

I finally blink, after who knows how long, when a little girl frolics through my sight. Her hair is a mess as she looks around, pulls down her dirty shorts, and squats right next to the rose bush that I have been molesting with my gaze. Like some barbarian, she looks around as if scouting for authority of some sorts, and to her success she is alone. A stream of piss escapes between her twig of legs, her bare bottom just inches from the dirt, she finishes and jumps to her feet while pulling her shorts up. She hops a few steps and runs off to the other side of the house, yelling, as if continuing the game she never left. The piss that never happened. The rose bush gazes longingly after the girl, and then down at the steaming pile of piss in the dirt.. Its first act of affection all week.

:poke:

A realization, a heavy fog that has been lifted.
I wander the paths laid out in my head and the paths across this land.
One way or another, I walk alone and I will come to an end.
There, I will be forced to make a decision at a halt, ending my existence as a wanderer.

For years I have felt so hallow, so void of emotion. But today I sit here with absolutely nothing to do, and I'm thankful for the times that I carry too much upon my back. I've realized that I am full to the brim with emotions. I go day to day ignoring how much I feel for the sake of my sanity. If I stop to wonder, I just might tip over and spill. Today, I'm overflowing. I feel so much right now that everything hurts. My hands tingle with longing, my chest aches with love, and my head is swimming with highs and lows. My legs ache from the burden I put upon them on a daily basis. I wasn't hoping for this, nor did I really see any of this, but I am open to it and I am accepting it.

Today, I will lay in my bed and imagine where you are. Sitting beside you on your adventure. I'll read and become restless, entwining my hands through handfuls of bedsheets, imagining your fingers laced through mine. I could do something to keep my mind distracted, but I won't because I like the way you make me feel.

I miss you.

The Devil's Tears

"He said I am the Devil Boy
Come with me and we'll make many storms
He offered me the universe but inside my heart there's a picture of a girl
Some call love a curse some call love a thief but she's my home
And she's as much a part of this broken heart see broken bones always seem to mend

I'll taste the Devil's tears
Drink from his soul but I'll never give up you
I'll taste the Devil's tears
Drink from his soul but I'll never give up you"

Angus and Julia Stone.