Redirection

A different project: thehangedgirl.com

Pretty folk, painted from their generation.
Prancing--dancing, shouting on a soapbox, "Thou shalt not.."
With hands on high scorched by the sun.
Growing smaller each year, each century, each millennium. 
A faint whisper aquiver a rushing wind.
As the slain stain the years past and the years to come.

Summer Reading List

I bid adieu to all electronic forms of entertainment, --although I will make exceptions regarding e-mail, blog, and twitter updates-- for the summer, in hopes of tackling my rather bold list of books. Also, in hopes of curbing my addiction of buying books online in bulk but rarely finding the time to read them!

*shatters*

Glory to thee! What celestial power has graced me to stumble onto your path?
I walk in the wake of your success like a stray; picking up broken and discarded pieces along the way.
Shimmering chasms of hope dance within my open palms, and I am happy, as I gaze upon your ethereal beauty. Incarnated in objects unknown to me. Yet, soon these pieces will cease to shine and I will be lost again to wander. Hiding in groves of moss as slander drips from burdened clover, heavy with the weight of my guilt.

A lonesome pine grazes the sky in all its elephantine beauty. It gives a cry as beads of sorrow descend to the forest floor. "Heavy is my heart that wallows, lonesome, I follow yet my roots run deep below me."

I look towards the sky -in all my despair- and I ask for the power to tame the beast inside of me; to lay waste to the rage that consumes me. And He replies, "have faith in me." I sink to my knees and I will never forgive myself for locking my heart away -too deep- inside of me.

B & C

Follow me, follow me! -Through cypress and wheat fields until those lawful eyes don their justice.
Alas, bullets rain from blackened skies; hearts ablaze and eyes glazed.
This is where young blood beats happiest, skin upon skin the sweetest friction.
Wake up, wake up! -Bonnie, the wolves are upon us..

My recent trip to Texas was a much needed break from my current life. This past winter was probably the worst that I've ever dealt with. (I'm too sane and old for drugs so I didn't have that to fall into.) It was just me and my big bad thoughts. Knives never looked sharp enough to penetrate my hardened shell, or I would've/could've. I felt that close to losing it. Wherever I looked, nothing made sense and I kept slipping on solid ground trying to find a place to set my feet, but how can you stand if the concept or reasoning didn't make the slightest of sense? How did I get so lost? What's the point? I felt strikingly similar to a character I had been recently introduced: Pierre Bezukhov, as he seethes with a similar apathy, "everything matters, nothing matters, it's all the same. If I can only escape, one way or another!.. And not see it, the terrible it" (Tolstoy, War and Peace). So, given my current state of mind and being this trip was a life saver.

Upon my arrival I was greeted by the happiest of faces. A friend I've known for a good span of years. We've been through the good times and bad. She's my Cheesecube and I'm her Snotsnot. We met each other while playing a MMORPG, World of Warcraft in its classic days. Instantly, I felt myself shedding my hatred, anxieties, depression, and worries. My first taste of Texas was mind blowing. People were so social and friendly. I know people say that of Portland but I don't see it as of late. I feel that with the recent influx of foreigners the city has grown too big for itself, which in turn makes people disgruntled, and these bigger city folk are bringing their culture with them. To say the least, this place isn't what it used to be and I didn't realize how much I hate what it has become.

My second day in Texas and I was graced with a beautifully blue sky as that brilliant sun warmed the air to a cozy 86 degrees. I basked in her rays until my skin burned, a little too much but the pain was welcomed. My time spent in Texas will be highly cherished and I've promised myself to explore more of the south, so that one day I may call it my home. It has seduced me. I will miss the cascades and seeing Hood in all her ever glowing beauty, but I feel her encouragement to explore what else Mother Nature has to offer. I'm sure the Appalachians will welcome me with wide open arms. Portland, you can keep your weird and dirty, and your pompous assholes, I'm off to live the simple life full to the brim of everything human.

This weekend I'm taking a trip to see the Redwood forest while coasting the scenic 101 highway. What a brilliant way to spend a weekend, while scouting for a possible future residence.